And then she walked into my first-grade class,
My life was instantly and permanently changed,
Adorned in a pink dress and perhaps white shoes,
White ribbons neatly strung through long, thick, dark hair,
Hands being held by an older brother!
And then she was sitting in a seat next to me,
I was trying to view her from the corner of my eyes,
Even then I knew how to be discreet,
How to let her know, without letting her know,
That although this is the first time I have ever seen her,
That she belongs to me, and only me.
No other boy needed even dare think about looking at her,
Only I deserved this little angel,
I was sitting in my first-grade class, eager to begin my life,
But it was as if my heart had only just now begun to beat,
I was like a newly born baby being brought to life.
Her name was a name I had not heard before,
No one else around had that name,
No one else even deserved that name.
My angel, after all, was one of a kind,
An only begotten daughter sent from heaven to save my tiny soul.
I wanted to, but dared not, pull on her hair
Run my little fingers through its elaborate luxuriousness
To pluck one its silky strands for the museum within my heart
Whose visitor would be me and only me?
One day her brother and my brother were in a fight.
My brother was holding her brother down on the ground,
She and I stood side by side near the schoolhouse wall observing them.
I was conflicted because my brother was fighting the brother of my
Angel. I wanted him to stop, but I said nothing.
Then my angel kept saying to her brother:
“Get up B”; “B please get up”, “get up B”; “B please get up!”
I felt so sorry for her,
I could tell that she so loved her brother.
I wanted to hug her, and tell her it was ok,
But she did not even know that it was my brother who was fighting her brother.
And I did not tell her, ever, that it was my brother,
Fearing that she would be angry at me, and I could not have that.
And then the next year she was in another class
Although right next door to my class, I felt as
If we were in two different worlds,
I had, suddenly, lost the girl of my dreams,
There was a song out that year titled “rescue me”
I thought it was written only for me,
It was as if God had taken my angel away,
Teasing me with her presence always being just next door,
But she could have been on the moon, as far as I was concerned,
I would always have these other dreams,
About one day walking in an amusement park in the rain,
In one of those places such as six flags,
Arm in arm with the angel of my life,
But dreams rarely come true? Although, sometimes they do!
Every New Year my only wish was to rejoin her
To once more, look at her from the corner of my eyes,
To one day gain enough courage to pull on her hair
To let her know, without letting her know,
That sometimes, first love last forever.
The Dreamer